Do You Want To Be Well?

I was a prisoner in my own body.

I began a journey of understanding my body and its healing abilities in 2000 when I had a Grand Mal seizure one evening on my way home from dinner with friends. The seizures continued for a few months and gave way to extreme pain and suffering that lasted many years. During that ten year time frame I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Metabolic Syndrome, IBS, Pre Diabetes, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and ultimately Multiple Sclerosis. There were many other diagnosis as well, but you get the picture. I was not well. My body was dying slowly and it was begging for healing.

Do you want to be well?

I went to many different Western Medicine doctors and specialists yet found no relief. Their answers were always this pill or that pill and each one created more problems so I turned to Chinese Medicine and natural healing. I was a prisoner inside my own body until I learned the deep connection I have with my temple and God. He kept asking me “Do you want to be well?” and I kept saying “yes as long as its easy.” That was my problem. I wanted the magic pill and I suffered many years before I caught on to the real question God was asking.

Let’s join Jesus at the pool of Bethesda and see what He was asking and telling the man on the mat:

Later on there was a Jewish feast (festival), and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now in Jerusalem, near the Sheep Gate, there is a pool, which is called in Hebrew (Jewish Aramaic) Bethesda, having five porticoes (alcoves, colonnades). In these porticoes lay a great number of people who were sick, blind, lame, withered, [waiting for the stirring of the water; for an angel of the Lord went down into the pool at appointed seasons and stirred up the water; the first one to go in after the water was stirred was healed of his disease.] There was a certain man there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus noticed him lying there [helpless], knowing that he had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to get well?” The invalid answered, “Sir, I have no one to put me in the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am coming [to get into it myself], someone else steps down ahead of me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up; pick up your pallet and walk.” Immediately the man was healed and recovered his strength, and picked up his pallet and walked.

Pick up your mat and walk.

Did you catch that? Jesus asked him did he want to get well and he gave excuses. It was too hard so he remained ill all those thirty-eight years. Yet it took only the words of Christ to heal him and he picked up his mat and walked away. I cannot begin to tell you the impact that had on me as I lay on my yoga mat that day and listened to them spoken over me. I heard him asking me again, “Do you want to be well?” and this time, tears streaming down my face I said “Yes Father, whatever it takes” and He said, “then pick up your mat and walk.” I knew then, that He would guide me on the healing path that would eventually set me free from my suffering and in faith I followed every avenue He led me on for 10 years and found myself healed from the anxiety, the Fibromyaligia and Chronic Fatigue and MS symptoms. I was no longer in a wheelchair and instead found myself holding yoga poses and running on a regular basis.

In total transparency, the journey is still going. There are times that I fall back into old habits and have to find my way out again. It is not a one-stop-pill-shop journey. This is a daily taking up my mat in the faith of Christ and following His lead with food choices, proper supplementation, consistent learning and application of healing modalities and meditation and movement with the Holy Spirit. It is a prayer journey and a faith journey that continually amazes me and I want to share that with you.

Each week I will post in the Healing Within Series and share what I have learned over the years either through studies or personal experiences from the many trials I have gone through to get here. Today, just know that you have the ability to heal. You have that ability when you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. God breathed life into from His own breath. His energy is within you, all you have to do is have faith and follow His lead, just as the man at Bethesda did. When you do, I believe you will find healing.

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