Sanctify your Wives Part 6 | Holy Hygge Marriage

couple wearing grey t shirts walking on shallow water and smiling
Photo by Leah Kelley on

Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27


In Part 5 we took a small glimpse into what the Father meant by “husbands love your wives”. Taking a deeper look we will see that God did not say a husband has an option to love, instead He commands it. When Paul wrote these words he used a present middle imperative. It is a command. It is not a suggestion. All husbands are to love their wives. Present tense shows the importance of always being in a state of love for their wives. Middle voice means by their own free will they choose to do so. And imperative means it is a definite command to love their wives the way the Father says to love them, without any requirement whatsoever from the wife.  The same goes for wives, we are to respect our husbands with the same zeal.

We know that Yahuah has commanded husbands to unconditionally love their wives so why is it so many Christian husbands put a “price tag” on their love? When wife does “xyz” then I will give her the love she deserves.

Wait. What?

She deserves? This is the worldly way of love. This is a selfish way of love. The world says we must earn love and respect. The Father says we must give it without it being earned. Having to earn love is the old way of love before Christ entered the picture. Love that must be earned or deserved is not Christ-like love nor is it love that Yahuah looks upon with favor.

Imagine if that is how Christ loved us? When we deserve it, then He will give it?

No! He loves us unconditionally and fully without a “price tag” and He is the model men are to follow when loving their wives. Men are given the task of head of household. They are right under the Father and stand in the gap for their wives because God has called them to do so. That is why they are commanded to love their wives without condition, so that wives can see Christ in action and they can find sanctification.

man and woman sitting on wooden swing while kissing
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on

Husbands who allow the Holy Spirit to engulf their minds and their souls will find that they are able to give the same sacrificial love Christ gave and in doing so their wives will be sanctified just as Christ sanctified the church. This kind of love keeps a wife from defilement of any kind. It is an overwhelming pure love that causes wives to be in a class all unique to themselves and turns the focus on what God is doing to honor that marital union. It is this kind of love that shows a wife how she is set apart from this world and honored by her Father through the love she is shown by her husband.

It is this kind of love that keeps marriages together. When worldly love is in play in a marriage it looks like this: I will love her when she respects me. I will respect him when he loves me. It is a circle of requirement that falls far from the sacrificial love and respect Yahuah commands. One must step up and stop the cycle and in its purest most powerful form it would be the husband stepping up and saying “ I will love you as Christ loved the church whether you deserve it or not. I will love you whether you meet “xyz” and I will love you so much that your sanctification in the eyes of our Father will be my priority. I will everything it takes for you to see Christ in me and I will do it without expectation of anything in return” That, my friends, is the kind of love husbands are to have for their wives but in a world where worldly love is easily accepted and carried out, wives take on the burden of breaking the cycle in hopes their husbands will follow suit and lead the house in the love they are called.

Wives, it is not our responsibility to tell our husbands how to love us. It is not our job to teach them how to love us correctly. We cannot change their hearts and get their minds to leave behind worldly thinking. We can only pray that the Father can reach him and in time the Holy Spirit will open his eyes and his soul to the ways the Father is truly calling him to love. While we pray, we give the unearned respect God calls us to give. He does not have to earn it. We give it because we love the Father. We give it because our hearts are pure in the Spirit and the Spirit is love and respect.

Yes, we desire the love our husbands are called to give. Yes, we are broken down when he does not show the love like he should. There is a disappointment there for God fearing wives in submission when their husband does not meet the same expectations he has for his own wife. I have been there. I know first hand how damaging it can be, but my friends, don’t let it sidetrack you from living and praying in the Spirit. Stay the course. Trust in the Father and pray your husband will overcome the world and live freely in love of Christ. It is then that he will want to love you so that you are sanctified. Don’t badger him about it, pray for it. Yahuah does hear your prayers.

Father Yahuah, you have given me my husband. I see him as the gift he is and pray that today and every day I can see him the way you see him. Help me to focus on the good in him and leave the broken aspects to you. Give my husband crystal clear vision of what you are calling him to do and give him the fullness of your spirit so that he can let loose of worldly thinking and embrace your design for him as a husband. Give me the strength to see the good in him and encourage him in the ways that will best support him in his journey with you.

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